Serena (a self portrait)

I tiptoed across the rare quiet
not wanting to disturb
to wake the beast
to rustle a feather
to crunch a stick

Anything to avoid the constant motion
of running running running away

But in my mind a piano started playing
and once again
I surrender to its roars
its heavy growls
its moans

poor beast, so lonely
with a thorn in its paw

Ode to those whose names pass my lips like prayers

Go slow, my love, go slow.

Too too fast

did you wander into my heart

when I had opened its doors for spring cleaning,

not expecting visitors.

Faces that I let close but did not let in

Control
     to counter
   ease balance fall stand up
   try harder be better
   feel smaller
   ease into it
I have control
   no control
I don't want it. I do I do I do
Where shall I land
   on the bruised balls of my feet

     I am all torn up
     I am broken and bloody
     I am all edges
     I am nothing

Counter me counter me
   fight me hit me hurt me
   I want to feel something

Kyle

Shannon

Sunlight hangs in your eyes
    a glittering
    a wiseness
    a naughtiness

In the cheeky half-baked smile you flash to strangers, to lovers, to loved ones
You  build a universe and destroy it again

But softly.
More a gift than a nightmare
A soft humming on the other side of the door
That moment, as a kid, of waking up in the backseat of a car and hearing your parents talk of things just out of your reach
You'll never quite catch
You'll never quite understand

              You have th power to boil up a soul

Walk through long grass with your eyes closed, dear
Catch sunlight in your palms
Feed yourself

              You are perfectly made
              incapable of hiding your own vitality
              Divinely recognisable you

Love yourself,
    as we do
On this and all days.

Tell me how to take ownership of myself
There are white line holding me back and giving me a Mother Courage scream and I'm not strong enough.
I'm not strong.