Bye bye

Distance happens when we don't talk.

   

I try.

Words flow up and then get stuck somehow

pulling themselves back into my mouth

anchoring themselves on my teeth and tongue.

You look at me like I'm some kind of answer

but I can't be. I'm only a friend.

A human too.

Mistake are as easily my bread as they are yours. 

The Far Away Girl

Far away girl.
Her eyes hold pictures that lie not before her
stars dance in them as she creates
a world of her own.

Far away girl.
Life is magical.
Why must one chose between happiness and sunshine.
It comes from within
but so does loneliness.

Sometimes own little worlds aren't what
they are cracked up to be.

Goodbyes

too many goodbyes

running into each other like tears mixing with rain

like black tracks down once rose filled cheeks

goodbye goodbye goodbye

too many goodbyes

coming too close to comfort

dripping their way over chins and onto vunerable skin at the nape of a neck.

goodbyes convulsing into someone else's shoulder.

into a pillow at 10 past 1 on a Tuesday morning.

into a shaking hand

but hellos too. yes those too.

Expressions.

Self Potrait 2.0

Eyes don't see like they used to
when things people places
where bright and shiny
new
adventure
magic

They have dimmed to the  point
where they can only see  reality
logic making paths
that fit like Tetris blocks

Trained to close themselves to hope
and evaluate what is before them

tell me
why is this better?

Time

Where does the time go?

Following the path that we all need to follow

Skipping along to to to

The end

Where ever that is

Or whoever

Lost in the void of the meaningful meaningless

The meaning lost

And each of us searching for it

Searching

Running faster

Stretching our arms out further

Trying to catch up with our time

That each second diminishes before us

I don’t know where to go

Or how to catch it

Or how to make this all better

I don’t know anything

I feel as if I know less then I used to

Each day allowing more of my wisdom to escape

Making space for too much knowledge

Maybe I will one day learn again

The meaningless of the meaningful

And not the other way around.

"That face though..."

Summer

We live in summer
Where boys jump from rocks believing they are men
And men fly from stones attempting to be boys.

Summer lives in us
It shines out of our eyes as youth and happiness
Lightens our hearts
Sings in our bones

But the light doesn't last forever
Our eyes dim, our hearts darken
Summer is great but

But winter is coming

Sounds

Tonight there are sounds

Softly caressing my ears into unconscious calmness

Dimming my eyes until they droop

The rain taps tenderly on metal

There’s music hiding behind it

Lyrics of songs I can almost make out

From down the hall the tv talks softly

And underneath it all

The soft breathing of the gentle creature resting on my chest

Tonight I should be learning poems, not writing them

Yet these sleepy sounds remind me

By encasing me in their careful embrace

That there is love

So much

For my mother

LikeALightInADarkRoom

altogether too magical
too necessary
too needed

yet I take you for granted.

Self Portrait

all of us are travelling down different roads
to reach the same destination

or all of us are travelling down the same road
to reach different destinations

either way it'd be great if i could hold someone's hand while i'm doing it.

Words

I created words

About you

For me they were you

All I had left of what I thought we had

But they were just black markings on a white blank page

On a computer screen

Grown out of a blinking cursor

And a heart in denial

Then I lost them

And it felt like I lost you

Or what was left of you

All over again

Or what I thought was you

We had it

For a second

In my mind

But seconds tick on

And so do you

And as soon as you were here you were gone

Blown about by your own gale

Always ready for something new

I guess just I wasn’t shiny enough

I’m sorry

I so wanted to be

Maybe next time.

Ananda

Beginnings

Beginnings are everywhere
a new day starts
a new year
a new you

promises you make and never keep

This year i won't be a new me
- people don't change over night -
i won't suddenly become
cooler
wiser
prettier

But with a new beginning comes that hope - that maybe
over time
just casually
things will happen
and the next year along (when you take stock of what you've done)
you notice

your face has changed.

Beginnings are really the back ends of ending
and right now i'm too entranced in last year to think about the current one.

But there is always tomorrow.